Aaronn B. / Own your story

Something that brought Aaronn comfort while in foster care was doing things he was genuinely passionate about regardless of other peoples opinions. He says that, "you are the one responsible for creating the life you want to live so there is power in that.”

The most anxiety-inducing part about being in foster care was the underlying truth of what placed him there. His biological mother, aunt, and cousin all have schizophrenia. His cousin lost his life to suicide due to the symptoms he faced. His biological uncle has autism and his older brother is also on the autism spectrum. His father also had mental health issues of his own and signed his rights away. His biological family was unable to take care of him and his brother as a result. Things like this made him realize that there is a much deeper issue in our world and we need to do better in serving our communities. He is a huge advocate for mental health because of this.

Aaronn says, “when you start to learn more of what got you into foster care, there may be times where you think it has something to do with you when in reality you had no control over the situation.”

Aaronn wants to make clear that the struggles foster youth face are added barriers to life outcomes that often get ignored or shunned. That is not to say that kids not in foster care don’t experience hardships too. But, being in foster care affected his social life. Some of his friends would proudly state their heritage while he had more questions about his identity. He would sometimes feel isolated and would have fears that he was twice as likely to go down a “wrong” path if he didn’t do the things that were necessary. He also feared that he would be judged for his story — that he would be blamed for what happened.

Foster youth often have to navigate through feelings of self-worth, lack of access to an education system that supports them, minimal access to good mental health resources, the stigma of society, and a higher chance of ending up in the prison industrial complex. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

He navigated through his foster family’s generational trauma, as well, figuring out how to define his own identity in the process. He overcame it by investing more in his mental health and understanding that his family was only able to do so much with the tools they were given.

While in foster care, Aaronn was very active - he was involved in sports and other physical activities. He also goes to the gym fives times a week. It’s like his second home. He has been challenged through many physically demanding tasks that helped boost his confidence. He is also a creative person and loves drawing. Creating art gave him another outlet to express himself while impacting others.

With the added support of therapy, he finally was able to develop the courage to find his biological family and eventually meet his biological father for the first time in 25 years.

Despite all of the hardships he faced, Aaronn was able to share his story to over 200 people at the organization he works for. His presentation was so impactful that he got a plethora of positive messages from employees and staff. These compliments helped him realize the value in being his most authentic self, and that there is nothing wrong with owning your story.

He is working on a couple of art projects now and is looking to start practicing with paint for the first time. He has also been hoping to get into modeling so he has been researching agencies and booking photoshoots to build his portfolio.

Aaronn thinks the general public can provide more outreach programs that involve assisting kids in foster care, electing qualified individuals that will help in creating laws that positively impact foster youth communities, and learning to show more compassion to combat stigmas associated with kids in foster care.

Aaronn was adopted to a single parent household, so one of the things his foster parent could have done was help him get into therapy at an earlier stage in his life to be able to process adolescence.

In the system, he would like to see better practices of hiring administration, more equitable access to resources such as mental health and programs to help foster youth find jobs.

His advice for foster youth in the system now is, “You are not defined by previous circumstances. As we look to mold the lives we want, society has fooled us into believing that we will be truly happy until we get to the finish line of whatever dream or plan we have. This is a myth and we should recognize that your happiness does not come from having the house or marrage you wanted. We create our own form of happiness because problems will always be there whether we are on this earth or not.”